A little fall baking...

When I think of Fall culinary treats, the usual suspects come to mind.... pie, cider, roasted turkey, etc. Sorry to disappoint, but my latest urge to bake came in none of those forms. Inspired by the Fall's ever-present spice (cinnamon), I decided to make Devil's Food Cake cupcakes with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Frosting.... doesn't that sound DELICIOUS? 

Yeah, well... hold your salivating for later. I made the cupcakes based off a Devil's Food Cake recipe from my cookbook Baked, and I made a sub-par substitution... the recipe called for cake flour, and all I had was wheat flour. I *love love love* wheat flour in cookies, I think it adds a depth of flavor that most cookies benefit from. But cupcakes? Well... cupcakes aren't meant to be deep. 

So, my cupcakes had the consistency of a chocolate bran muffin, which is really *not* an attractive quality in a cupcake. On the upside, I found a frosting recipe that I love, and I think that if I use the correct ingredients, the cake recipe will be a winner as well. Picture? Don't mind if I do...

Super cute muffin tins c/o my mom. Because she is super cute.

Cookbook c/o Jules last Christmas. (I will *always* love the gift of an awesome cookbook.) 

If you want the Devil's Food recipe, ask and I'll send it. But really, you should just buy this cookbook. The lemon scones? Amaaaaaazing.
The frosting comes from Emeril. I added some red food coloring to make it pink, and I wanted a smooth texture so I nixed the cinnamon and subbed 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon extract instead.

CINNAMON CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
1 lb confectioners' sugar
8 oz cream cheese at room temperature
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons milk
With an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add sugar, cinnamon and milk- keep on low until incorporated. Then, kick it up to medium and beat until smooth. Yield: 2 cups frosting. 

Road-tripping is where it's at...

...And you should know, Portland really IS as cool as people say it is. As evidence I submit this fact: while in Portland, we ate breakfast at home one day... and through the course of the day still managed to sit down at 4 restaurants. Best part of this story? It was happy hour at EVERY place we went. A New York Times article explains:

"While other towns — notably Seattle, Los Angeles, Atlanta and Charleston, S.C. — also serve cheap eats in the late afternoon, Portland has been doing it since the last recession. If you ask restaurant owners, they’ll tell you the back story: a state liquor law forbids businesses from promoting discounted alcohol, so it made sense to lure in diners with at-cost food. (Though this law has recently changed, $5 plates are more ubiquitous than ever.)"

Highlights include the custom brews at Laurelwood and delicious eats at Nostrana - a James Beard nominated restaurant, where the earliest reservation we could get on a Saturday was 9:00pm. Since we had hit up 3 other places between 2 and 9, it wasn't an issue, and if this happens to you, I promise the food is worth the wait.

Laurelwood in the Alphabet District - Pic a la their website

Nostrana deliciousness - Pic a la biscuitsandjam.com

The best part of this whole thing was being able to connect with good friends, new and old. Well, mainly all old friends, but their fiances were new! I took absolutely no pictures on this trip, so I failed on that part, but quite frankly I was too busy soaking up the beauty of the whole weekend to worry about any of that...

Long Overdue Post!!

Hi Friends,

Thanks for being patient with me. This has been an exciting week!!

1. I finally bought the text book for the piano class I started taking. Even though I don't have a piano at home, I carry the book around the house, looking at the notes and trying to sing along. I'm enthralled.
2. My beautiful, dear friend Kim has challenged her readership to 21 days of doing something uncomfortable. I decided that I would be waking up at 6am every day. (y-i-k-e-s.) I find it nearly impossible to get myself out of bed in the morning, so the thought of doing it at 6am was quite literally terrifying. (The first day, I sat on my couch at 6:10am and my first thought was, "How did I just DO that?!") Although I gave myself a break this last weekend, I've been doing pretty well. In fact, my body pretty much comes to full alertness by 5:55, even before my alarm goes off. I should be thrilled, but it's really just strange to me - I can't believe 26 years of a bad habit can be broken in a week!! So what do I do with all that free time in the morning? Well...

3. There's a book called The Artist's Way. It basically guides you through finding the Artist within. One of the exercises is to write 3 pages of stream-of-consciousness-thought when you first wake up in the morning, before you do anything else with your day. So, for about the first 30 minutes of my day, I roll out of bed, head down to the couch with my notebook, and write whatever happens to be on my mind. Sometimes, I'm pretty deep at 6am.... but most of the time I'm just exclaiming about the fact that I'm up at 6 in the morning :)
The Artist's Way also has you go through different exercises every week, and to have weekly check-ins with people going through the book as well. My people are Elaine and Mary, and we are checking in via our blogs! How fun!!

For this week, I want to share a couple things. First, is that I totally yanked Elaine's idea for her artist date and went down to Art Essentials downtown. BUT, I bought a couple canvases and some oil brushes for a mere $20. And now the next time I feel like painting, it will not be on a National Geographic poster ;) The other thing (this is such a fun exercise), is that the book asks you to pick 5 imaginary lives. What would you do? Who would you be?? Here were mine:

Broadway singer/actress (not only for the career, but also for the fact that I would be in New York!)
Model (I hear you get to keep the clothes sometimes :D)
Movie Critic (Go to all the premieres? check. Get paid to watch movies and write? check. Get to wax philosophical about story lines and directing styles? double check.)
Novelist (I thought my first office job was crazy and I had stories to tell.... then I moved on to my second office job, and honestly you wouldn't even believe me if I told you....)
Casting Director (I underlined this one and put exclamation points after it. I think that means I was pretty excited at this idea.)

And I have to share my favorite affirmation. What a fiercely confident statement that what we do is worth it: All my work comes to good.


So much more to share about the Artist's Way - and I already have a killer idea for my artist date next week. Can't wait!!

xo,
Meg

Photo Shoot!

Just a few of the things I love about my house... Happy Monday!

A painting

Today I watched a couple of documentaries - the first was "The September Issue" which chronicles the making of Vogue's largest volume made at that time. It largely follows Anna Wintour, the infamous editor-in-chief from which The Devil Wears Prada was modeled. If you have any appreciation for fashion, I think you'll enjoy it, if for nothing else because it makes you feel close to the all-powerful of the fashion world. As the documentary points out, even though we may hate to admit it, we all want more celebrity. (Which in my book, is perfectly OK. I will be the first to admit that I joined twitter almost exclusively to feel closer to my celeb faves.... knowing what Ingrid Michaelson is up to tonight? Yup, LOVE IT.)

The second documentary was "Objectivity," which I found boring, but, it made me realize something important. The documentary follows designers of.. stuff. People who design chairs, or pliers, or cars, etc. and it talks about how their creativity touches each of us, since ultimately we all consume these things. (I'm actually making it sound more interesting than it is, I promise.) But the thing it made me realize is that, although design is not my thing, one thing I do love is making people FEEL a certain way. I think that's why I'm so attracted to the arts. If I play a part a certain way or if I can recite a meaningful song on the piano, I can effect emotions. Unfortunately it's a Sunday afternoon and I just don't have the energy to work through this thought, but it will definitely be something I come back to.

In the meantime, I painted today! After watching documentaries on creating things, naturally, I had to create. I used the only canvas I could find (a framed National Geographic poster that Nick and I picked up at a thrift store), and oils that were shoved in a drawer in the garage. The cool thing that happened was that the paint and the brushes kind of did their own thing, and I felt like I just got to sit back and kind of watch as it came together.

The young partiers, the confidants, and the lovers. 

These two women are my favorite. In my head, the red woman has just found out her husband is cheating on her, and has called her good friend to this bar in the middle of the night to talk about it. 

Oh, and I also did a photo shoot around my house. Those pics will be up tomorrow. 

Love.

a question for you

I feel a bit preachy with this one, but I found this a valuable exercise, so I'm hoping you do too. Maybe it will feel less preachy to you if I first say that I'm not going to give you my answer for this question. I'm simply putting it out there so that you can find your answer.

This morning I was asked to contemplate the following scenario:
Imagine it's your funeral. Imagine you have just died, but somehow you are still standing up at the front of the church, or the funeral home, or the meadow at your favorite camping spot, or wherever you want to have a service. Imagine all your friends and family that will be walking through, imagine co-workers and neighbors and anyone else you think might show up. Actually close your eyes and picture it.

Now, you are allowed to say one thing to all of them. All these people you LOVE - you are allowed to give them one brief message. One parting thought. What is it? ... Think on this one, because it's critical to answering the REAL question below.

(Do you know where I'm going with this?)

Now here, in the non-hypothetical world, are you living out the message you would give at your funeral? Is your life speaking those words for you? Is your life speaking those words loud enough that others can actually hear them?


I thought about this, and in terms of life-guidance, I think this is a pretty good one to go by. I know that HOW to live out your parting words is a whole other challenge in and of itself, but clarifying what those words are is a big step. It just dawned on me that I think these words need to become my mantra. I've never really had a mantra before and I don't really know how they work, but simply repeating something over and over seems like a good way to make it stick. Especially repeating them to myself in the face of the unknown and the uncertain. I like this idea. It's comforting. Plus it feels very Elizabeth Gilbert-esque a la Eat, Pray, Love. How chic of me. ;)

Ok fine, if you REALLY want to know my mantra, I'll tell you. (You're just so persuasive.)
Love one another... that's it. And again, I know "how" to love other people might be the logical next question, but how would I change if I really loved every single person I came across? I think that's where we really get tripped up, is when we start de-valuing other people. And it's hard because love can mean so many things and it plays itself out in so many ways, but I know when I love someone that I want that person to see their full potential and to have the best life possible. To give and grow and stretch and love as much as they possibly can. That's what I want for people I love, that's what I want for me. You may not agree with me, but that's why it's MY mantra.... go find your own.

thisisthecoolestthingever

At first glance, I thought this was bogus.

A musician is trying to get people to fund the production of his next full-length album, and he has a website where you can donate to him.... sounds lame, right?
But here's the thing... IT'S COMPLETELY UNLAME.

Reading more, I find out that kickstarter is a website where you can help fund creative projects. The projects always have a set monetary goal that they have to reach by a certain date, and if they do not reach that goal, your credit card is never charged. Plus, most artists offer really cool stuff if you donate to their projects upfront. (Example: donate $15, and you'll get a copy of their CD once it's released.) It's kind of like a CSA program for artists, filmmakers and musicians. What an AMAZING way to show support for the things you love and encourage the creative community. And the beauty of it is that if you're the person trying to get funding, you get to connect with those that support you. Plus it's a way for you to gauge interest on projects you're working on. Amazing amazing.

This guy is the reason I saw this website in the first place, since his plea for funding was tweeted by one of my favorite music chicks, Ingrid Michaelson. (Greg opened for Ingrid at a show in LA that I caught last year.) It looks like he is already well on his way to getting the 20k he needs. So check it out... and if you thought your dream projects were just too expensive to happen... let me know when you start your own kickstart project. I'll donate. I promise. :)

my blog title

I had quite a few (bad) ideas of what I could name my blog, among them:

26 going on 12 (because that's how I feel most of the time. but this isn't a Jennifer Garner movie.)
the naive girl in the business world (too long - although true most of the time)
in search of me (grossly self-absorbed. and just, ew.)

There were some other considerations which came disturbingly close to becoming my blog title, but I firmly believe that sometimes other people express who I am (and what I'm going through) better than I can. So I turned to a poet that my friend recently introduced me to, Mary Oliver.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

more beginnings...

I read over yesterday's blog post, and it seemed incomplete. I intentionally had kept it rather short because I didn't want to bore my readership. Then I had the obvious realization that my readership is only 2 people, and that they probably love me enough to keep reading, so.... E & Nick, this is for you! :D


From yesterday's post, you are beginning to understand my dilemma. I am 26, going on 27, and up until now I have managed to get by in the professional world. But things keep dawning on me, and I’m finding it harder and harder to ignore them. Like the fact that, when I am at the office, I have to be so completely un-myself. I’ve decided it might be a worthy exercise for me to try and figure out 1) the things I am. 2) the things I am not. and 3) the things I want to be, and can therefore work on cultivating. I got this idea from a book I’ve been reading, and highly recommend, called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. I have immensely enjoyed reading this book. Rubin’s insights aren’t ground-breaking, but, there are so many things she reminds us of that we tend to forget. Plus, she breaks up her search for happiness into projects, which is far easier for me to wrap my mind around, rather than, say, some kind of huge personal quest for meaning. That just sounds overwhelming. I admit I haven’t finished The Happiness Project yet - I actually get such a good feeling from reading it, that I’m scared to finish it because I don’t want it to end. Today I decided that’s just silly, so I’m going to eat it up ASAP.... and then just start from the beginning again. :)
Anyway, the point is that Gretchen Rubin has a mantra that she keeps repeating in her book, which is BE GRETCHEN. When you embrace the things you are and the things you enjoy, rather than trying to embrace the things you think you SHOULD be, or SHOULD enjoy, it opens up this wonderful space to BE who you love, and DO what you love. Seems like one of the highest goals you could shoot for. And this isn’t an exercise in pleasure-seeking - it’s about finding the best version of yourself, as you see it.
I think this is why I’ve always had trouble writing blogs. I have wanted to have a blog for YEARS now, and have had many failed attempts. But I think the problem is that I was always trying to spin it a certain way:
I’ll create a blog that catalogues my perfect little marriage and our awesome life near the beach. (Oh wait, my marriage isn’t anywhere CLOSE to perfect.)
I’ll create a blog about being a vegan. (Vegan? Me? For more than 2 months? hahahahahaha...)
I’ll create a blog about all the awesome places we travel. (The problem here is that, while my husband is great at exploring, I like to use vacations to, well, eat, sleep & lay by the pool. This doesn’t exactly make for exciting blogs.) 

But feeling out of place, searching, and self-reflecting... these are the things I know. These are the things I live with, day in and day out. It might sound exhausting to you, I think my husband would probably agree with you, but, for me it’s my way of being. I have to question things, and ponder things, and research ever more, just for me to feel like I’ve scratched the surface of what might be the answer to my many, many questions. And the question, that has now been plaguing for a few years... first as a passing thought and now as a yelling voice in my head, is what do I want to do for the rest of my life??
So, to begin my list, I jotted down a few things this morning of what I think I AM:

clumsy
outspoken
loving

Those are the only three that I’m sure of for the time being. I’m sure many others will come to mind, but I’ll only commit adjectives to this list if I really and truly can embrace them as being a fundamental part of who I am. Here are some things I think I am not:

detail-oriented 

Ok I'm sure there are a TON more things I am not (friends... you want to help me out here?) but I know I can be a bit of a chameleon in terms of personality, so it's harder for me to commit things to this list. Finally, some things I want to be:

friendly (I think the only thing that holds me back from this sometimes is self-consciousness)

open

creative

passionate

fearless

Again, I'm sure there are others, but I stalled after those 5, so that's probably an indication I can stop for now. I actually made strides on the friendliness thing today. I go to my local grocery store on a pretty regular basis, and today I struck up a conversation with one of the clerks who I always notice when I go in. She's worked there for TEN YEARS!! And her name is Rebecca. It's not much, but it's a start. I really have the urge to be friendly with everyone, it's just the thought that people might not be friendly back that always stops me. Today I realized how silly that is. For one, I think most people are glad to have someone acknowledge them and try to make a human connection, and two, who cares if they doesn't respond in an equally friendly manner? Maybe they're shy, or they are socially awkward... hey, even if it's just because they don't like the way I look, at least I'm putting it out there that I'll be a friend if they ever need it. 

Hmmmm... professional friend. Is that a job? ...I'll take it!!

All for now... thoughts/comments welcomed. 

Love. 

let's begin at the beginning

The reason I'm writing this blog, is that for some time now I've had the sneaking suspicion I might be in the wrong profession. Scratch that, let me re-phrase. I am in the wrong profession. It's not that I don't like my job, or the people I work with, it's that, fundamentally, I feel out of place. Although I've known since, I think, almost the beginning of my career in the corporate world that this would not be a life-long thing for me, at the time there seemed to be a possibility that maybe, just maybe, I could act like a normal person long enough to become a manager of something or another. Because that's what successful people do; they manage other people. At least, that's how it works in my head. At this point, 4 years out of college, it is becoming painfully obvious that I will never manage anyone.... ever.


Case Study #1. An email I recently received:

"The documents are short and looking forward, most belong with X for process ownership, oversight and rewrite.  Y worked too independently and as I review the presentation, wonder who vetted this and authorized the information exchange."


I read the paragraph above, and my first thought was, I never want to talk like this. It’s well-written, concise, and conveys a meaningful message, but still, I never want to talk like this. It’s business jargon, as simple as that. At least, I know in my day to day life I never use phrases like “process ownership” and “information exchange.” It’s as if I spoke English all my life and suddenly you wanted me to learn Portuguese. There’s nothing wrong with Portuguese, it’s beautiful in its own way, and it serves a purpose. But I don’t ever have plans to go to Portugal, do you see what I’m saying? The point is, instead of thinking ohhhh, I hope one day I can sound this professional, I thought, someone shoot me if I ever sound like this. (In real life, I would LOVE to go to Portugal. Maybe I should akin this more to picking up a New Jersey accent?) 


I couldn't figure out why my reaction was so negative to this email. I very much respect the person who wrote it - I consider them an incredibly intelligent, professional, and personable individual. There was certainly nothing offensive in the email. But then it hit me, this isn't who I am, and more importantly, it's not who I want to become. I have no desire to be a business professional. Which in some ways, is a great realization, because it means I've at least narrowed down my life choices by one. Business - out. That only leaves academics, technical jobs, artistic jobs, non-profit work.... well, the list goes on. So here starts the long, hard journey of finding a purpose in something else, and hopefully a profession along with it. Making a living by doing what you love - that's the dream, right?  What I'm hoping is that there are other people out there, facing the same dilemma, who might take comfort in knowing they're not alone. In knowing that some of us just aren't cut out for the jobs we're doing, and that's OK. In addition, that it's a WORTHWHILE GOAL to set out trying to find the things you love to do, because ultimately what you love is what you will excel at.  


Cheers.